The midlife crisis is often the butt of many random jokes, and some people refer to the phenomenon as an excuse for their own or their immediate jokes.
However, it is important to know that the famous midlife crisis is a real state of mind that significantly affects the decisions made. If ignored, it can cause irreversible changes in life.
What is a midlife crisis?
Why is midlife crisis more common in men? Experts believe that this is due to a certain social consent to the behavior characteristic of such a state. “Every man is a big kid” are opinions that people hear almost every day, and they are entrenched in the media and pop culture. As a result, men are more likely to exhibit symptoms of a midlife crisis than women. Ladies most often suffer in silence, because middle age syndrome, regardless of gender, is associated with real mental suffering.
It is estimated that the midlife crisis affects about 10% of the population. The conclusion is simple – the symptoms of this condition may or may not occur. Psychologists believe that this is directly related to the level of life satisfaction. The crisis of middle age is more prone to people who are dissatisfied with their financial situation, professional or family life. Thinking about this, combined with awareness of the past tense, often leads to irrational behavior. On the other hand, we are talking about the awareness of changes that occur in appearance with age. It is necessary to experience a second youth and realize your youthful ambitions.
Another stimulus that can trigger symptoms of a midlife crisis is sudden changes in life – the death of loved ones, especially both or even one of the parents, as well as adult children leaving the family home.
Men’s midlife crisis
The midlife crisis in men manifests itself in accordance with what, in their opinion, constitutes a sense of satisfaction with life. Most often, men assume that accumulated property testifies to a successful life – real estate, cars, bank balance. Although more often identified with women, men also associate happiness with appearance. It can even be said that at a certain age, men begin to pay more attention to their appearance than women. This is how the male midlife crisis begins.
A man, when he begins to notice that his body does not look like a Greek statue, begins to obsessively take care of his appearance – every morning he runs, buys a gym membership, changes the contents of his wardrobe, often replacing elegant youth clothes that he didn’t even want to look at before . That’s not all, many men start dyeing their hair and stubble, and some even decide to have a hair transplant. It is worth emphasizing that increased, even obsessive, care for one’s body is the result of not only the rejection of natural changes. Another reason for this is the fear of illness and the fear of death – at a certain age, gentlemen begin to understand that they are not perfect.
Taking care of your appearance and physical condition is not a bad thing, as long as it does not take an obsessive form. However, these are not the only symptoms of middle age syndrome. The next ones are much more risky, which makes them much more dangerous. In many cases, a midlife crisis is devastating to men’s lives.
The next stage of the male midlife crisis involves risky and often even completely irrational decisions. Some people feel that their work is of no value, so they immediately resign, believing that this is the last moment when they begin to realize their youthful ambitions.
Assuming “it’s time,” some men spend their savings on buying an expensive, often sporty (sketchy, but true) car. The middle age syndrome is often accompanied by dissatisfaction with family life. Gentlemen begin to notice that time leaves its mark not only on themselves, but also on their life partners. There is a charm to younger women and, wanting to boost their ego, some men don’t even try to hide it.
Each of these behaviors can be reduced to two problems: dissatisfaction with what has been achieved and feelings of anger caused by the passage of time.
Midlife crisis in women
Midlife crises in men and women have much in common, but some of the symptoms vary by gender. Women pay less attention to material issues than men, so their emotional crisis that occurs at the stage of summing up the results of life has a more emotional dimension, especially at the initial stage.
The term “roaring magpie” has become a staple of pop culture, and while it’s not the most elegant, it should be noted that it didn’t appear out of nowhere. Some women, realizing that their bodies have changed over the years, literally begin to feel sorry for themselves. The consequence of this is depressive states – there are problems with falling asleep, tantrums, bouts of crying. At this stage, “ladies often stop taking care of themselves, according to the rule: “why should I wear makeup if I still look terrible.” From here, only a step towards full-blown depression, or to wrong decisions, as dangerous and risky as those made by men.
Midlife crisis and betrayal
Both men and women often rejuvenate themselves by establishing relationships with much younger people. In the case of ladies, such relationships are usually hidden. Usually they do not want to part with their husbands, an affair with a younger lover is a cure for thoughts of death for them.
The situation is a little different with men, because men who are in an emotional crisis are trying to prove something to themselves, but also to everyone around them. A younger lover is a point of pride that often pushes them towards divorce.
How to survive a midlife crisis?
The midlife crisis is a condition that should not be underestimated. By allowing things to take their course, expect serious consequences, often irreversible. To come out of an emotional crisis unscathed, the first thing you need to do is come to terms with the inevitable – over time. However, this is not easy and often requires assistance. Instead of consulting in a plastic surgery clinic, it is better to turn to a psychologist – if you feel dissatisfied with life and yourself, this is a therapist.
It’s also a good idea to participate in support groups, but this topic needs to be approached with caution. There are many forums on the Internet about such topics, but in most cases other people’s support is illusory and comes down more to the topic of what kind of plastic surgery is worth getting and which doctor will do it best.
How to help in this situation?
It will not do without the support of loved ones, and especially without the help of a life partner. However, in order to be able to help, it is necessary to identify the problem in advance. First of all, one cannot ignore any, even the tiniest sign of a crisis. Also, do not “wait” – delay will make it more difficult to solve the problem later.
At every opportunity, it is worth assuring the victim of its value. This condition requires someone to question their own masculinity or femininity. In such a situation, the partner’s role is to convince their soulmate that this is not the case. Compliments can do wonders.
It is worth adding an element of unpredictability to your life together. Monotony and routine exacerbate the symptoms of a crisis even more, so free time must be organized so that there is no place for boredom in it.
Another thing is concern for the quality of intimate life. Naturally, the years of living together affect the sexual sphere, and in addition, a person in crisis begins to avoid intimate situations with his soulmate. Don’t let this happen. Start enjoying sex again. Experiment, of course, within the framework of common sense. Just like in your free time, there should be no room for routine in the bedroom either.
On the other hand, the crisis must not be allowed to dominate the entire family life. It is you, as a sober person in this situation, who is responsible for holding back the irrational decisions of your soulmate. You should not allow your common money to be spent on unnecessary things.
