Conflict – don’t poison your life with this

10 min read
Conflict – don’t poison your life with this
Picture: Roman Novitskii | Dreamstime
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The life of a modern person cannot be without conflicts. They inevitably arise and will be especially painful when a person is least prepared for them. This is their insidious mechanism. Disputes take so much time and effort that it is surprising.

Conflict situations are annoying emotions that bring frustration and often cause apathy. The science of conflictology is the study of various complex moments of the interaction of people with each other. What is a conflict situation and how to behave in it in order to win?

What is conflict?

Conflict behavior is a very important issue that depends on the well-being of the person and his attitude. It is noted that, for example, a person who is accustomed to constant humility experiences significant difficulties when it requires showing character, insisting on his own opinion. Such a person is in most cases doomed, if one is to be sure. By the way, guilt is the main indicator that a person is ready to take on the role of a victim. Is it just necessary to do this?

Conflict is a clash of views, beliefs, opinions of two or more opponents. Participants in a dispute may have conflicting information, have different approaches to solving a particular problem.

They have not learned to listen to the opinions of third parties, often taking care of their own interests, no matter how much it affects the other person. The situation becomes especially difficult when feelings do not find an outlet. There is a so-called vacuum, which makes it difficult to hear and understand each other.

How does the clash at the party start?

Conflict situations, as a rule, do not arise instantly. It takes a long time for negative emotions to accumulate in excess and become simply unbearable.

Conflict
Picture: Albertshakirov | Dreamstime

The first stage is the period of waiting for the moment. This may take years. The emergence of a conflict situation occurs gradually. At the moment, a person accumulates destructive and unfavorable energy. One day the cup will overflow. The phase of the so-called Breakthrough begins, when emotions suddenly arise, judgments about each other. Hearing about yourself is more than unpleasant, and relationships can be ruined once and for all. Therefore, it is important not to accumulate irritation, anger and resentment, but to resolve all disagreements in a timely manner. It may not be easy to do this, it takes some courage and confidence, but it’s worth it. Be honest and friendly!

Conflict management

Reason for misunderstandings

The fact is that each of us has our own unique ideas about how the world works. When another person destroys the usual framework of our understanding, in other words, interferes with it, there is a feeling that everything around you is collapsing. The individual loses his footing.

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Recognition of the rightness of another person for many is a real test. And even if there is doubt somewhere deep inside, a stubborn man continues to stubbornly defend his own position. Conflict management begins with the realization that “I can be wrong.” When a person is able to understand and hear the opposite point of view in order to learn something like this lesson, then we can talk about a constructive way to solve a complex problem.

Interpersonal and intriguing conflicts

There are conflict situations when these life circumstances require tremendous efforts from us and teach us to be attentive and take into account other people’s desires. Contradictions can accumulate inside a person (this is a real “war” with oneself), with loved ones. In both cases, a person feels bad: sleep disturbances, loss of appetite, depressed mood are possible.

Internal conflict develops in the person himself. This is due to destructive negative thoughts that literally make you suffer. A person can deny positive prospects for the future only because it is difficult to go beyond the “I” – this is necessary for the mandatory participation of the other.

Conflict and conflict situation

Interpersonal conflict requires the participation of two people. Here there is a clash of specific opinions, views and beliefs. Often, the participants in a dispute cannot hear and understand themselves correctly just because each of them has their own value system that does not correlate with the position of the opponent. Conflict management in this case is able to resist one’s own pride and learn to understand the position of another.

Conflict
Picture: Evgenyatamanenko | Dreamstime

Some of you mistakenly believe that it is weakness to agree with the opinion of the enemy. However, a strong person is unique in that he is able to see the truth much further than ordinary people.

Spousal quarrel

The vast majority of quarrels occur between husband and wife. So, the world is arranged in such a way that the closest and dearest souls often cannot understand each other. Moreover, spouses tend to identify with the other half and forget that they may have completely different desires and views. The most difficult thing in the relationship of two loving people is to achieve a state of unified inner integrity, remaining self-sufficient, without losing self-confidence.

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The resolution of the conflict between spouses is possible only when they begin to coordinate their actions with each other. Here you can not act alone, from the point of view of selfishness. It must be remembered that when you decide to start a family, you take responsibility for its well-being.

If the husband and wife do not understand each other, the emerging conflict situation is a signal for a speedy resolution of the situation. Most likely, they are both wrong and everyone defends their point of view. It is important to see in time to realize the absurdity of such actions! Behavior in a conflict situation depends not only on the degree of misunderstanding, but also on the nature of the spouses. If someone in your family has the opportunity to apply for a concession, then that’s great.

Parenting

How often parents are dissatisfied with their children! The reasons for misunderstanding can be different: poor school performance, unwillingness to do homework, rudeness and inattention. Conflict situations usually arise after repeated attempts to reach an agreement.

Young people often show absolute tenacity and want to prove themselves in everything. Looking at them, we sometimes think that they are too smart to talk about their own future, so they believe in their success. Young age is a time of dreams and impulses. Look at them: how their eyes burn, what do they say? And how seriously, sometimes frowning, adults talk about the unattainability of some of the goals that they once set for themselves. Because of the differences in these facts, it is very difficult for children and adults to understand each other.

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What can I advise parents in this case? Behavior in a conflict situation should be aimed at minimizing quarrels and reducing negative emotions. You must tell your children about your love at every opportunity, and not everything in life can be achieved only with the help of courage – in most cases, effective actions are required.
Conflict resolution

School and “lessons”

Unfortunately, the educational institution where our children go does not always bring them joy. Some children go to school out of a sense of obligation. With such a non-optimistic approach to the learning process, it is difficult to count on high results. It is very important to develop a child’s cognitive interest, the ability to enjoy the acquisition of new knowledge. What to do if he feels mutual dislike for the teacher, has no relationship with classmates?

Conflict
Picture: Evgenyatamanenko | Dreamstime

In this case, parents should be ready to respond immediately, to come to the rescue operation. Conflicts at school cannot be ignored, they must be resolved in a timely manner. To do this, a good method is to talk about the experiences of the child. Who knows, if you are honest enough and attached to him, maybe he will open his school for you. Conflict resolution begins with understanding. It must come from the heart, from a sincere desire to help. Even if your child has misbehaved, give him a second chance. Let him try to fix the situation. After all, it is so important in life to be able to admit your mistakes. They are focused on opportunities for personal growth.

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If the teacher is the problem, then you and your child have tried different ways to build a relationship with him, but nothing has helped, perhaps you should seriously think about the fate of the child. Or transfer her to another class or school. If your child does not want to leave his friends, you may need to change teachers. You don’t want your son or daughter to finish school with bad grades! Unfortunately, teachers can sometimes treat their students differently. It is worth considering the well-being of your child.

Work environment

Organizational conflicts are not uncommon. All the staff seem to be nice and friendly. In fact, each of them has its own character. This is neither good nor bad, it is a gift of nature. In order to peacefully coexist with colleagues in the workplace where you currently work, you must follow certain rules.

Never get into trouble. Conflict situations are always rumors and unwanted opinions, so it’s better if they don’t concern you. When you see that the situation is tense among employees, do not intervene and aggravate the situation. It’s best to stay neutral, stay friendly and smile. Business should be done in the office. For some reason, many have forgotten this simple truth. It is unacceptable to conduct personal conversations on the phone, to attract attention, to laugh out loud. You can’t always imagine where you might end up succeeding.

Behavior in a conflict situation

How to behave properly

Conflict resolution begins with acknowledging that there is a problem. Make the right decisions depending on your level of involvement in the dispute. You must be able to plead guilty in time, in which case to say that you are wrong. Note that there are no solvable problems here. You can always find a way out of conflict situations. It is important that it comes from the heart and then you will definitely be heard. All contradictions can be overcome if you start to act with sincere desire.

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What destructive consequences can a conflict situation bring?

An example and a solution can be found in specialized literature and art. In fact, it’s never too late to apologize. If you realize that you are wrong, it would be completely redundant to explain to your colleagues, neighbors, your child why you offended him. Perhaps he will understand that everything is not so scary, and will not be angry with you.

Conflict
Picture: Rolandas Cikanavicius | Dreamstime

Both at home and at work, we spend too much time to aggravate the situation, to suffer, to spoil our nerves. If you don’t like the activity, consider how to make your boring, everyday life more interesting. Mentally match the colors to feel the emotions, turn your home clock into something meaningful! Play with the baby, he will be very pleased.

Output

Conflict is a special state in which two people are emotionally involved. Often these are people who are dependent on each other: for example, a teenager cannot live separately from his mother, so he argues with her, which he wants to prove his autonomy.

The mother does not understand her son, considers him a child and therefore does not trust important tasks, does not take seriously his reasoning about the career of a musician. Any controversial issues must be resolved in a timely manner, otherwise they will develop into a long conflict, which is not so easy to overcome.

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It is much easier and better to live without the accumulation of heavy negative emotions. Remember that they greatly exhaust a person, cause irreparable damage to the psyche. Those who are constantly in a state of mental tension cannot perceive reality correctly. Such a person cannot enjoy life, develop fully and use his potential. If a conflict situation arises, it is better to resolve it in advance than to exhaust yourself and others.

Take care of your loved ones, love them, take care of your relationships. The real joy of human communication is a unique priceless gift. If you learn to fully appreciate what you have, you will suddenly feel happy for no particular reason. Everything is going well, harmoniously: a pleasant reward, career successes, successes in the development of children.
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