How to change your life for the better – the method of small habits

7 min read
How to change your life for the better – the method of small habits
Picture: Andrey Khokhlov | Dreamstime
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Most people sometimes try to change their lives for the better. A good example is New Year’s resolutions. 90% of these provisions end in nothing. Is it a matter of motivation? Dr. BJ Fogg, a psychologist at Stanford University, has a different opinion.

Fogg has specialized in the problem of motivation for several years. He does this on two levels – scientific research, but at the same time developing online courses aimed at developing positive habits. He dubbed his unique concept “Tiny Habits” or “Little Habits“.

The psychologist notes that most of the decisions made (for example, New Year’s) end in failure. He believes that four main factors are responsible for this.

First, the provisions are usually too general. For example, “lose weight” or “work out more.” What does this really mean? How much weight to lose? What time? How much time do you train – especially? How often – every day, twice a week? What are these exercises?

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The second problem is that the provisions most often concern attempts to break with a negative habit – “I will stop eating sweets”, “I will quit smoking.” Breaking a negative habit or addiction is much harder than creating a new positive habit!

The third problem is the pain that accompanies the implementation of the resolution. An exact illustration of this problem is an image seen on the Internet. Above: A motivational running poster in which a beautiful smiling girl in a tracksuit with a blissful expression on her face says, “That feeling after a long run!”, and below you can see a photo of a disheveled, sweat-soaked girl moaning on the ground: “More never!”. When a new habit is associated with pain, we quickly begin to find thousands of excuses to skip working on it on a given day.

According to Fogg, the final problem is over-reliance on staying motivated, or over-reliance on willpower, for success. That’s why I offer a model for creating new habits that can easily cope with all problems.

What is a “little habit”?

This is a simple behavior that will run at least once a day that takes less than 30 seconds to complete and requires little effort.

How to change your life
Picture: Ezthaiphoto | Dreamstime

It should be something specific, small, simple and positive. Let’s not set ourselves big goals like half an hour of exercise a day. Recall – 90% of these provisions go into oblivion. A well-defined petty habit is, for example, three slopes.

The key to success in creating a small habit is to automate it. This should come right after some action, an event that happens several times a day.

For example: “After going to the toilet, I will do three squats.”

Other examples of minor habits that can change your life for the better:

  • I’ll text my mom after I make my morning coffee.
  • After turning on the dishwasher, I will memorize three French words.
  • After I get home from work, I will put on a tracksuit.
  • When I hear the phone ring, I will take two deep relaxing breaths.
  • Letting my head on the pillow, I will remember one pleasant event of the day.
  • When I get home, I will hang my keys on a hook by the front door.

Fogg calls this “anchor”. A particular event or behavior becomes the stimulus for our new positive habit, i.e. the new habit is “attached” or attached to the existing one. Why is it revolutionary? Because the performance of a new activity does not depend on motivation, but only on learning to remember that after X comes Y.

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Interestingly, although Fogg developed the topic from a scientific point of view, many people intuitively come to such ideas. A good example is a priest who decides to pray for people whose lives are in danger. However, he still forgot about it in the workload. However, he remembered that he lived near the hospital and often heard the sounds of an ambulance.

He decided to say “Hail Mary” every time he heard an ambulance. It worked great until he heard an ambulance during a mass service. At this point, he decided to cut his prayer down to a sigh: “Jesus, have mercy on his soul.” And this version, which perfectly fits the rules of Fogg’s little habits, hit the bull’s-eye.

What else is important in creating small habits?

To change your life for the better, it is very important to reinforce your new little habit with positive emotions. So every time you do this, allow yourself a little pride and satisfaction: “Hey! I did it! B. J. Fogg says that it can either be a word, such as “victory!”, or “succeeded again” or “applause!”, or a gesture – such as placing fingers in a victory sign (V is for victory) nailing.

How to change your life
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Clap your hands or smile. Why is it important? Because if you allow yourself to feel this piece of positive emotion, it will make us increase our desire to repeat it. The human brain quickly learns to remind us to repeat things that bring pleasure and satisfaction.

It is also worth practicing your new habit several times before putting it into practice and, if necessary, properly preparing the environment. Let’s say someone decides to remember three French words after filling the dishwasher. That’s why he put the notebook with the words on the dishwasher. However, as he practiced the new habit, he noticed that he was too focused on remembering the words he had already repeated.

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That’s why he changed the system. From then on, he began to write new words on small pieces of paper (one in Polish and one in French) and put them in a box. After repeating the sequence of actions several times – closing the dishwasher door, remembering three words (and putting them at the end of the box), finally clapping his hands, he assured him that everything would work.

How to learn a new habit to change your life for the better?

Fogg recommends introducing three new habits at the same time. He tried it with years of practice. This gives the best effect – it’s not too hard and not too easy. It is very important to choose the little things – nothing complicated, nothing ambitious.

How to change your life
Picture: Andrii Yalanskyi | Dreamstime

To change life for the better, he warns against trying to live something that has long been dreamed of, but failed. You must start with small things. Over time, as you start building new habits, you can take on the challenge of being more ambitious, but we’ll start with simple questions.

The next thing is time to learn and establish new habits. Fogg suggests starting on Monday and giving yourself 5 days to study. Most people study or work 5 days a week and those days tend to be similar. On weekends, the schedule usually looks different, which can knock us out of the new rhythm.

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First of all, keep it simple. A trap that many people fall into when they set too ambitious, too difficult goals. Despite the warnings, you may find that you were unable to enter what you wanted. Don’t give up Maybe you should simplify the goal. Dr. Fogg assures us that if we continue to learn small new habits, we don’t stop at three, but as we ride it, we introduce new ones, resulting in an overall higher quality of life.

Fogg described it with the following metaphor: “Little habits are like grains. If you put the right grain in the right place, it will start growing on its own.”

For example, from a small habit of flossing one tooth after washing, a person comes – no pain, no compulsion, adding another tooth to be brushed every few weeks – for daily flossing of all teeth.

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